It'd be nice.. for once

`

I've gotten to the point in my life where I am literally and utterly completely confused. I have no idea what path my life is supposed to take or where I am even going anymore. I used to feel so confident in my plan of life and in knowing where I was headed and now.. now I have no clue! One minute my heart and mind are telling me to do something and the next they've completely switched teams and are rooting for the opposite team.. (team meaning school that is) I cannot decide where to transfer next year!! I literally am so torn! In the fall I was completely set on USU! Like COMPLETELY! It just felt so right.. what with my major being Elementary Education and it just felt like a perfect transition from Snow. Then my heart--with the help of my friends started to consider staying at Snow another year. Possibly doing some student government stuff (scholarship) and it would also look excellent for future references, plus it's cheaper and I'd be good to do to finish my pre recs since I cant even get into my education program yet... So here I am trying to convince myself to stay down here and honeslty it's starting to work.. but then BAM! WAM! Another option comes up.. UVU! I know I know... I never thought I'd ever consider it either.. But right now it just sounds pretty good. Moving back up north.. to the actual "civilized land". I could definitely find a job.. unlike down here, I'd be closer to the fam bam and all my bff's that are coming home this summer! and it'd also be a good little transition place to decide if I am serious about this mission thing! so here i go trying to get everything in order for UVU last minute, like literally the scholarship deadline is tomorrow.. and after I get everything done and decided.. I go and do something way dumb by going to an interest meeting for that student government thing down here. And now I am TOTALLY TORN AGAIN!!
Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what to freakin do! Because obviously I'm not good at deciding myself! I'm so confused! Ugh! So this is my vamping session of complaining.
Okay I'm good now.
Bye

Note to Self

There comes a time in your life when everything you ever wanted has changed.. because YOU'VE changed. And the things you wanted and the person you wanted aren't enough, because you deserve BETTER. Better than the old you would of settled for. Not that the old you was bad, it's just the new you has more hopes and dreams and the DETERMINATION to achieve them. ♥
-Sincerely Me

It's amazing how much as happened to me and how much I've grown up in the last two years. I would of never imagined I'd be at this point in my life and I guess I have you to thank for that. I'm so thankful for the people and things that have happened to me to get me where I am today, because there's no where else I'd rather be. Trials are truly blessings in disguise to mold us and shape us into who we're supposed to be. So thank you! Never regret the people in your past. They helped shaped your future

DECISIONS....

Transfer up to USU and start a brand new adventure?

Stay at Snow another year and finish the pre-rec's I need to get into an Education program.. and possible try out for SBA?

Orrrrr.....
Neither.
No school.
Move home
and prepare...
for a mission???

SCARY! I hate decisions! I wish someone would just tell me what to do with my life.

Stupid Boy....

Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holdin' back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

You stupid boy, oh, you always had to be right
But now you lost the only thing
That ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands, yeah
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans, yes, you did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

You stupid boy
Oh, I'm the same old, same old stupid boy

It took a while for her to figure out
She could run but when she did
She was long gone, long gone

She's gone
Long gone
Yeah she is now
Yeah, ohh

On and on
She loved me, she loved me, she loved me
God, please, doesn't matter no
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby

Yeah, I don't believe
She's never coming back to me

There comes a time in your life when CHANGE is all you need. Change to grow, to become the best you can be and who you are meant to be.

I've recently been really thinking about going on a mission...
SCARY THOUGHT HUH? Never thought I'd ever even consider going on one... but recently it just feels right and what I need to do.

Ready for Change.

When I count my blessings, I count you twice <3


Every trial that happens to you is only placed into your life to prepare you for your future