Unanswered Prayers

In the last little bit I have found myself praying hard then ever,
for comfort
for guidance
and just for help.

and it's been sort of disheartening that I haven't been getting much of an answer.

Until last week, I was driving.. listening the the only radio station in Sanpete County which plays just about a little of every kind of music and one of my old favorites came on: Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. and it just hit me way hard! I have always loved this song but it was exactly what I needed to hear and fit perfectly in my mind and mended my heart. I am so grateful for the tender mercies Heavenly Father blesses me with every day. I know he is always cares and is always listening whether it be when I'm kneeling down at my bedside at night or driving in the car listening to Garth Brooks. He is aware of all of our thoughts, our trials and our hardships and he will never leave us defenseless. Sometimes the very trials he lets us endure are the ones that will define us and make us into the person we are supposed to be.

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers "

GOALS:
 
BE HAPPY.
Smile at strangers.
Be better than I was yesterday. Try to improve myself everyday.
Treat others as I would like to be treated.
Play like I'm a four-year old atleast once a day.Make sure the ones I love, know I love them.
Read a book. It's been a while since I've had the time to just sit down and read my heart out.
I want to sit down with my grandparents and write down their story of how they met.
Appreciate the people who truely matter and who always will.
Don't be afraid of change, infact, seek it out.
Meet someone new everyday.
Pass my math class this semester with an A
Get my Patriartical Blessing.Live my life to the fullest and have NO REGRETS.Not fight with my family when I go home for the weekends.Don't care what others think of me, my opinion is the only only that matters.
Work out, everyday.also, eat healthier.Start getting more sleep. 8 hours puuuhlease!Spend more time with my grandparents.
Stop trying to avoid the unavoidable.Don't hold grudges---forgive quickly.
Go to all 3 church classes every Sunday.
Go skydiving before I die.
Go snowboarding, for the first time! I live in the "Greatest Snow on Earth", and yet I've never been snowboarding..
Get a 4.0
Get a great summer job! and by job, I mean like 2 or 3!
Be more crafty, I would really like to learn to sew!Take better care of my hair and just let it gro o o o o o w.I would like to one day get married in the Salt Lake City Temple.
Have LOTS of babies! haha okay maybe not loooots but I do want a big family.
I want to travel, but not to all the generic places everyone goes to, I would like to go places few have ever been.

My someday...

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body... Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, Who won't hold them against me, Who loves me when I'm unlikable, Who sees the small child in me, and Who looks for the divine potential of me... Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night With someone who thanks God for me, With someone I feel blessed to hold... Because marriage means opportunity To grow in love in friendship... Because marriage is a discipline To be added to a list of achievements... Because marriages do not fail, people fail When they enter into marriage Expecting another to make them whole... Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage Together we create our marriage... Because with this understanding The possibilities are limitless.

SUMMER TO DO LIST

Hiking: to the Y
Boating
Camping
Demolition Derbys
Carnivals
BBQ's
Lagoon!
Drive in movies
star gazing
fireworks

As of Late

Wow.. isn't it crazy how in just the blink of an eye life can feel like it has competely changed.

This is the exact feeling I am going through right now!

CHANGE!

and I'm kinda lovin' it! Everyone who knows me knows how undecisive I have been about school next year and how I've changed my mind like twenty times.. (literally) but as time dwindled down... Decision time has come and I've made my decision on what to do next year. I will be returning t o Snow another year. I got elected to be a Student Body Advocate for next school year, which will bring about amazing opportunities for me that I am so excited for! I never everrr thought I'd be going back to Snow another semester but the more it is becoming a reality the more excited I am for it! Crazy how life works out sometimes.. :)

Loooove is in the air! Seriously I swear everyone and their cat and dog are engaged/married! Congrats Sean and Jocelyn! and Jon for finally poppin the question for Ms Emily! So happy for you guys! and all the other love birds in the world!

Russell is going to be home in about 2 and 1/2 months!!! Sooo crazy how fast that went by! Well in someways it flew by, but in others I feel like it's been decades since I've seen him! It's gonna be so great to have my best friend back!


Oh.. and there's this boy. That's all I'm gonna say.. but I'm keepin my fingers crossed ladies and gents.

Signs

Who here is a believer of signs? Goodness I sure am.. Sometimes I feel it's not a good thing but I can't help it. I just feel like certain things are placed in my life to point me in the right direction or let me know what i am doing is right from the man upstairs. His "tender mercies" I find around me every day and I am so thankful for the.

It'd be nice.. for once

`

I've gotten to the point in my life where I am literally and utterly completely confused. I have no idea what path my life is supposed to take or where I am even going anymore. I used to feel so confident in my plan of life and in knowing where I was headed and now.. now I have no clue! One minute my heart and mind are telling me to do something and the next they've completely switched teams and are rooting for the opposite team.. (team meaning school that is) I cannot decide where to transfer next year!! I literally am so torn! In the fall I was completely set on USU! Like COMPLETELY! It just felt so right.. what with my major being Elementary Education and it just felt like a perfect transition from Snow. Then my heart--with the help of my friends started to consider staying at Snow another year. Possibly doing some student government stuff (scholarship) and it would also look excellent for future references, plus it's cheaper and I'd be good to do to finish my pre recs since I cant even get into my education program yet... So here I am trying to convince myself to stay down here and honeslty it's starting to work.. but then BAM! WAM! Another option comes up.. UVU! I know I know... I never thought I'd ever consider it either.. But right now it just sounds pretty good. Moving back up north.. to the actual "civilized land". I could definitely find a job.. unlike down here, I'd be closer to the fam bam and all my bff's that are coming home this summer! and it'd also be a good little transition place to decide if I am serious about this mission thing! so here i go trying to get everything in order for UVU last minute, like literally the scholarship deadline is tomorrow.. and after I get everything done and decided.. I go and do something way dumb by going to an interest meeting for that student government thing down here. And now I am TOTALLY TORN AGAIN!!
Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what to freakin do! Because obviously I'm not good at deciding myself! I'm so confused! Ugh! So this is my vamping session of complaining.
Okay I'm good now.
Bye

Note to Self

There comes a time in your life when everything you ever wanted has changed.. because YOU'VE changed. And the things you wanted and the person you wanted aren't enough, because you deserve BETTER. Better than the old you would of settled for. Not that the old you was bad, it's just the new you has more hopes and dreams and the DETERMINATION to achieve them. ♥
-Sincerely Me

It's amazing how much as happened to me and how much I've grown up in the last two years. I would of never imagined I'd be at this point in my life and I guess I have you to thank for that. I'm so thankful for the people and things that have happened to me to get me where I am today, because there's no where else I'd rather be. Trials are truly blessings in disguise to mold us and shape us into who we're supposed to be. So thank you! Never regret the people in your past. They helped shaped your future